In today’s episode, Dr. Brenda Murrow takes a look into behaviors we sometimes see in children that can feel confusing or hard to understand—like why a child might stay very close to a caregiver who’s actually causing them harm or distress.

Dr. Brenda Murrow began her career working with children and quickly realized that young kids don’t always use the language adults expect to describe their experiences. Each child has their own unique way of expressing what they feel and see, which makes understanding them a careful process.

We often think we need to show up perfectly, but the truth is—our imperfections are doing more work than we realize. In this episode, Dr. Brenda Murrow talks about how information moves between beings, especially through non-verbal signals, and how something as simple as embarrassment can actually build trust.

The episode centers on appeasement signals—subtle behaviors animals use to prevent conflict. Dr. Murrow highlights a 2017 study from the Journal of Veterinary Behavior that looked at how dogs use cues like looking away or licking their lips when interacting with humans. These actions aren’t random—they’re meaningful ways of communicating peaceful intent.